Annie (almost 4!): is doing great in her preschool program one day a week, loves dressing up and imaginative play of all sorts, is turning into the best little guide/helper/encourager for Lucy, is starting to show interest in reading and spelling, is still too little to watch Hercules (good try, Mama), practices caution in interacting with others, and still says her name is “Anniebelle Jane Warnen.”
Lucy (almost 2!): speaks in full sentences about half of the time, wraps me up in the tightest hugs, loves to aggravate Annie but would follow her to the ends of the Earth, has great problem-solving skills, is becoming a very picky eater, is obsessed with Trolls, often treats us all like peasants (Adam says she just tolerates us), but will still stop what she’s doing several times a day, come to me, and say “I need hugs” or “you want a kiss?” or “can me hold you, Mama?”
Mama: trying to become a seasonal decorator and failing again (a few scattered pumpkins are sufficient, right), survived Adam being on Whole30 and even adapted to continue eating a few Whole30 meals each week after it was over, writing a master’s! thesis! on Cherokee women as storytellers, writing about motherhood, and really looking forward to mashed potatoes and the dessert table on Thanksgiving.
Right now, Lucy
loves watching shows, if she’s seated in her chair or right next to her sister.
constantly brings me her shoes to go outside.
scratches her chest and says “ticka, ticka, ticka,” when asked where her belly is.
will throw everything down in her haste to get to the kitchen if I say “Lulu, are you ready to eat?”
refuses to drink milk in anything but her bottle, but will gladly throw back juice in her sippy cup.
says “woof, woof” when she hears or sees her doggies.
is content to toddle around and destroy the house by pulling out every item she can reach, toy or otherwise.
loves bath time and tries to drink the water when she thinks I’m not looking.
babbles “Daddy, daddy, daddy” when she hears his car pull up in the driveway.
sneaks into the bathroom to unravel the toilet paper roll, which she can do in about ten seconds flat.
snuggles into me, holding me tight with one hand and patting me with the other.
yells at her sister, vehemently and incoherently.
is becoming less and less of a morning person, needing a few minutes to lay quietly with her milk before hopping up to play.
gives the best kisses and lovins.
A little before her first birthday, Lucy weaned and started sleeping through the night. Aside from a couple of setbacks from illness and teething, both girls now sleep until about 9:00. For a while, I slept until they woke up out of habit, but then I realized I could finally consistently get some quiet alone time in the morning. I also felt a little guilty about sleeping in so late after getting a full night’s rest! Even if I am up and about before they are awake, it is still my favorite daily habit to have a slow morning, where we cuddle in my bed while they drink their milk. For about fifteen minutes, we tickle and giggle and sing and snuggle. We’re still in our jammies and just finishing up breakfast by 10:00. Annie just turned three and she feels like such a kid already; her baby and toddler phase is quickly fading. She will be in school all day in a short eighteen months. I can’t believe that. Just thinking of that milestone is enough to erase all guilt I may feel of these slow mornings. Staying at home with a three year old and a fourteen month old can be exhausting and wearing, and it drains my patience some days. But I couldn’t be more thankful that I get to stop and just snuggle these girls whenever I want.
It’s 1:00 AM. I stayed up to do homework but somewhere along the way, I decided to update my blog and maybe even write a little. I know this is going to hurt in the morning, but here I am. Lonnnnnng time no see, Home + Heart. I’ve missed you! I realized recently that I feel most like myself when I’m writing. I guess I should clarify that. I feel most like my pre-mama self. My girls are my life right now, and that’s normal and good, but I have so little left to be a wife, daughter, friend, student, etc. That leaves almost nothing for myself. I have so many thoughts on this, but I’ll save them for another time — hopefully it won’t be a year or more this time, yikes. Anyway, I get to write a lot. I’m in graduate school! Halfway through my MA! I’m smiling in spite of myself as I type that. It was a personal goal for a few years, and I’m so thankful to have this opportunity. But, it’s not a coincidence that my last blog post was right before I started grad school and had another baby. Because those two should always go hand in hand, right? If you need some help planning your life, call me. I’m great. So, I was writing for school the other day. I was getting a great handle on my research, synthesizing it with my thesis ideas, and just generally nailing it. It felt so good. I was in the library — it was quiet, blissfully quiet. The girls weren’t asking for anything, I wasn’t at home distracted by the messy kitchen or piles of laundry. Nobody needed me. I spent an hour and a half reading and writing uninterrupted, and felt so refreshed when I got back home to my babies. It was a good reminder to take some time for myself, doing something that clears my head and helps me feel content. So, that’s what I’m doing right now. My blog now has a simple look (just used a basic template — so boring) that reflects that this is just a space for me to come and share. I’m hoping it’ll inspire me to come back and share more often, even if it’s one o’clock in the morning. I know it will be good for me. And since this post is just for me — here are a couple reminders of why I always feel so tired and happy.